Not Such a Boob After All
by AmyGoddess
Summary: Set a few weeks after Miranda. Simon's still healing, but his mind and heart are full of Kaylee. He hasn't said or done anything about it, though, and River gets tired of "hearing" about it.


"Ai ya! You're driving me crazy!"

And with that outburst, River ran out of her brother's room, leaving him attempting to sit up in his bed as he stared after her, eyes wide and confused.

* * *

River roamed the ship alone, thinking, trying to shut out all she heard and felt from everyone else on the ship. Not paying attention where she was walking, what she was seeing. Her body knew the ship, could feel its heart beating. Serenity would guide her where she needed to go.

Simon had told her, many times, that she shouldn't just do whatever she wanted, say whatever she wanted, when she heard what people were thinking or feeling. That they had a right to privacy, and to do things in their own way, in their own time. She shouldn't be meddling. No meddling.

But sometimes, sometimes, there was a very good reason to meddle. In this case, things had gone on long enough without any progress or resolution. River had heard these particular thoughts and felt the feelings for a while. They'd grown stronger over several months, and in the few weeks they'd been recovering and repairing the ship on Miranda, she felt these thoughts and dreams almost all the time. It was long past time for her to do something. She felt Serenity guide her to the person she needed most to see right now.

* * *

"River!" Kaylee shouted, startled. She'd been deep in the engine and had not heard the girl's approach. "You scared me. What are you up to, honey?"

The younger girl had an odd look on her face. A saucy smile, like she had a secret of some kind.

And often she did. She knew all their thoughts and feelings, whether she wanted to or not. Kaylee didn't mind that so much, as long as River didn't, well, spill the beans or anything.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Kaylee asked, smiling faintly back at her.

"Come with me, Kaylee," River said, holding out her hand. "Come and play."

Kaylee smiled and shook her head. "I can't right now, honey. Gotta fix this and – " Kaylee broke off as River walked over to the engine and stuck her hand in a nest of wires. "Don't, River!" But just then the girl's head popped up.

"All fixed now," she said, smiling. "Let's go."

"River, what are we doing in here?" Kaylee whispered, eyes transfixed on the sleeping form on the bed.

Simon lay there, under the covers, deeply asleep. Kaylee watched the slow rise and fall of his chest, recalling the time spent in the Alliance ship's recovery area. Just out of sickbed herself, from the Reaver dart wounds, she and River had sat in Simon's room, watching him sleep, wondering how bad it was, if he'd need more transfusions from all the blood he'd lost when he was shot in the stomach. She hadn't believed he would make it until he woke up and looked right at her, blue eyes focusing on hers. He'd given her that smile, that sweet grin and called her bao bei.

And there hadn't been much time since then to find out if he'd really meant what he'd said when the Reavers were attacking. People were grieving. Recovering from injury. Repairing the ship.

His one regret. Funny, he'd been so clear then, when facing down a gruesome death. No stumbling, no dumb comments. Just open and strong, like she'd wished he could be so many times in the past.

Since he'd been released back to the ship, she'd wanted to find him, talk to him, but didn't know how to bring up what had happened.

"He's ok, just napping. Sit here." River patted the edge of the bed by her sleeping brother. "Sit by Simon."

Kaylee did as the girl asked. Aside from the engine room, there really wasn't any other place on the ship she wanted to be more than here. "Hold his hand," River said, picking up her brother's limp hand and placing it in Kaylee's.

She looked down at their joined hands. Hers a darker tone than his, with long thin fingers rough and scarred from repairs. Traces of grease sat in her nailbeds. And his. Pale and strong hands, trained for surgery. Slight calluses on the finger pads. So different, and yet the same. She held his one hand in both of hers, gently tracing the veins in it with her thumb.

"He wants. It's very, very strong. Not as scared anymore to want things. Still a boob though. Don't run out if he says something dumb."

"What are you talkin' about River?" she asked, startled at the words. But Kaylee knew exactly what the young girl meant. Her heart fluttered with joy. River could read and knew what they all thought and felt. Simon had meant what he said all those weeks ago.

"I'm going back up to the bridge now. He'll wake soon. Remember what I said, Kaylee, dong ma?"

Kaylee nodded at the younger girl and smiled. "I won't run, no matter what he says."

* * *

He knew he was waking, but he was still dreaming. It was one of his favorites, one he didn't want to let go of just yet. A fantasy that he desperately wanted to make real, if he could.

_"Simon." Kaylee's voice was an awed whisper as she looked around the room. "This is amazin'! When did you do it? Where did you find all this stuff?"_

_They were in the other shuttle, the one used once in a while for runs and deliveries. It was a regular shuttle, nothing like what Inara had done to hers. But then it was not a companion's traveling boudoir._

_But tonight it was transformed. There was a kind of low bed on the floor, covered in rich red fabrics. Candles – the battery operated kind – of all colors were set around the room, giving off a nice glow. And there was a silver bucket with ice and a bottle in it sitting near two glasses._

_"Do you like it?" he asked, feeling a little sheepish and nervous. He'd asked Inara for help a few days ago, and she had come through. The candles were hers, and it had been her idea to pull off the mattresses from some bunks to make a larger bed. She'd even helped him find the wine._

_"I absolutely love it! It's wonderful. You're wonderful." Kaylee turned to him, eyes shining. Drinking in her enthusiasm like a hot man craves cool water, Simon pulled her into his arms and kissed her, softly and slowly at first, teasing and nipping her mouth and cheeks and jawline, while his deft hands caressed her back. Kaylee moaned softly into his mouth and pressed herself into him, her hands running through his hair, her legs pressing against him. He moaned out her name into her hair. "Kaylee. Kaylee."_

_He felt himself start to harden, and tried to tamp that back. He wanted to spend all night savoring her, feasting on her. Showing her how much he loved her. He'd wanted to be with her for so long, had wanted to take the joy and happiness she offered for so long. Simon wondered if he would be able to hold back long enough to pleasure Kaylee the way she deserved. And then he realized it didn't matter. They had all night. They could make love over and over and over again. Quick and hot. Slow and deep and tender. All the long dark night._

* * *

"Simon? Simon, wake up, honey."

A soft familiar voice was speaking. He felt gentle fingers tap on his cheek. Opening his eyes slowly, he saw her beloved face looking carefully at him. Concern filled her eyes. Where was that smile that he loved, that lit him up inside whenever he saw it?

"Kaylee. Bao bei." He smiled groggily up at her, seeing her eyes flicker and a small smile curve her lips at the endearment. Not the full deal of sparkling that she usually had, but this would do for now.

And then he realized his dream. The after affects. He had an erection, which was nice and hard and not going down yet. Could she see it through the blankets? He felt exposed suddenly, and didn't like it all that much.

"What are you doing here? How long have you been here?" he said, feeling slightly panicked.

Kaylee frowned a little, but recalled River's words. Less scared. Don't run away if he says something dumb. "River came and got me about twenty minutes ago, I think."

"River – she came and got you?" Simon was mystified.

Kaylee nodded. "She brought me here, told me to sit on the bed by you. And she put your hand in mine." She smiled absently at the recent memory.

Simon goggled at her. "Did she say anything?"

"Um, yes. As a matter of fact, she did." Kaylee bit her lip, knowing that Simon would be at least a little embarrassed by what his sister had said.

Kaylee looked him right in the eyes. The directness of her gaze put a twist in his stomach. "She said that you want and it's very strong. You're not as scared anymore to want things."

A familiar voice broke in over the intercom, startling them. "Still a boob, though, Simon. Still a boob."

Kaylee gaped at the intercom box, then looked back at Simon. She covered her mouth with her hand to stop laughing. His expression wavered between outrage and embarrassment, his pale cheeks turning the loveliest shade of pink.

"Come on, Simon, it's a little bit funny, ain't it?" she said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "Just a little teeny bit?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "I suppose. I have said some things to you in the past that were – well – not too smart." Simon chuckled a little, then winced. His wound was still healing, not ready for belly laughs just yet.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry, did that hurt your wound?"

"Yes," he hissed, breathing in and out slowly. "A bit. No big laughs for a while, I think."

Kaylee smiled at him, and reached a hand up to touch his cheek. "No laughing."

"But talking. We can talk. Or I can." He cleared his throat. Even though he was not as scared anymore of happiness, even though he was not scared that Kaylee would reject him, he was still nervous. What he felt for Kaylee, what he wanted to tell her – he'd never been in this place before. Never felt so strongly for any other woman. Never told any woman he loved her, because he never had. New feelings were scary. But he had to say something. He'd denied himself for so long, and he was worn down with resisting. He couldn't say no anymore.

"Kaylee." He took one of her hands in his and squeezed it. "Do you remember, uh, before I was shot? What – what I - said to you?"

She nodded at him wordlessly, smiling shyly at him. "I definitely do recall it."

"I, uh, I – still want that. Really, really want it." He felt his heart beat pick up. What that sweat on his brow?

"Is that what you were dreaming about earlier?" Her voice was like a soft caress. It sent a shiver up his spine. "I heard you say my name. More of a moan, really. Not of pain." And the look she gave him. Sweet and full of longing. Why did he have to be gorram injured right now? It was not fair.

"Yes. I was. Um. Dreaming about you. And me. I've dreamed of us before."

"So have I." Kaylee scooted forward on the bed, closer to his head. Simon smiled and closed his eyes as he felt her fingers thread through his hair. It was so gentle and relaxing. "Dreamed of us making love. I expect the real thing will be right nice," she said lazily.

"Right nice? Only nice?" he spluttered, eyes flashing open. What in the verse was the woman thinking? "Nice is for puppies and kittens, Kaylee. When I'm healed, when we're able to be together, after all this time, you won't be calling it nice."

"Well, well, Doctor Tam." Kaylee's hands stilled on his head and she drew back to give him a look of surprise. "How will I describe our first time, then?" she teased.

"I love you, Kaylee." He just said it. Without thinking. It just came out. And to his great surprise, he felt so free. Lighter. It was as if he'd said a magic phrase that had melted away any fears he had about the future, about him and Kaylee, even about River. And found he wanted to say it again. Needed to say it. "I love you. And because of that, I'll make our times together as beautiful and special as I can. You deserve no less."

Kaylee was just staring at him, mouth open. "Simon," she managed, voice creaking. He could see tears welling in her eyes, watched her swallow hard and try to speak. "No one's ever said anythin' like that to me before. Not ever." The wetness spilled out and down her cheeks.

He didn't mind making her cry, not if they were happy tears. Which these definitely were. "Come here, bao bei. Come lay down by me."

"Just a minute." He watched as she stood and took off her shoes. Then gasped as she peeled her jumpsuit off her hips. "I don't want to get dirt on your sheets," she said as she exposed firm hips encased in lacy pink panties and long curvy legs. Then crawled under the covers next to him. He felt her bare legs brush his.

He turned his body just a little, so they were facing each other. Simon brushed the trace of tears from her cheeks and moved closer to kiss her softly. "I love you, bao bei." He pressed a kiss to her forehead, the tip of her nose. He so wished he could do more, but that was really all his body was able to handle now.

Then she filled his heart with an even greater joy than she already had. Taking his face in her hands, Kaylee gazed into his eyes. "Simon Tam. I love you, too."

* * *

Even though there was plenty of distance in the ship between her and her brother, River could still hear, still feel him. And Kaylee. It wasn't nearly as strong as when she was in the room next to him, but strong enough.

She smiled as studied some of the readings on the screens in front of her. "He's not such a boob after all," she said absently, forgetting Mal was sitting in the pilot's chair not five feet away from her.

"Who isn't such a boob, lil albatross?" Mal asked, giving her a quizzical look.

River just turned to her captain and gave him a brilliant smile.


End file.
